When it comes to Facebook, some friends fall into category A, while others B. What about you all? What kind of friend are you? Here’s the category breakdown.
A) The Overzealous Updater
This is the friend who can’t go half a day without sharing What’s On His Mind. Honestly people. We really don't need to know that you've just had your second shower of the day. For that matter, we didn't need to hear about the first one either.
B) The Link-bot
This is the friend who does nothing but share links all day. Links to articles he’s read that he thinks the whole world should be reading, links to movie reviews, links to new games coming on the market, links to his Twitter page where he’s gone and posted 10 more links. There needs to be a limit. Some links are good, especially when they send people to this blog. But let’s impose a 2-link-max rule per day, what do you say?
C) The Groupie
This is the friend who has joined more groups than Marcia Brady did that one year in high school when she was overcommitted and frazzled. Asian Americans in Israel who Support Diplomacy with Iran? Really?
D) I Am My Kids
This is the friend who only uses Facebook to post photos of the little ones, or updates that read: “Tommy didn’t feel well today, so he stayed home from school.” Might as well not even have your own profile, just create one for the kid(s), no?
E) Spies (who used to) Like Us
This is the Ex who only friends you so s/he can spy on you and make sure you have fewer friends that s/he does, and that your new significant other is less attractive than s/he was.
F) The Wanna-Be
This is the person who friends someone with the great hope of becoming friends with that person in real life, be it a minor celeb, or just someone the Wanna-Be really admires from a slight distance.
G) The Two-facer
This is the friend who accepts your friend request just to be polite, but then Hides your updates immediately. Unfortunately, you have no idea who the two-facers are.
H) The Networker
This is the friend whose main purpose on Facebook is to build a list he can tap when he needs to for work/career. You know these friends because they only message you with e-mails that read “So you still over at Viacom?”
I) The OverPoker
No need to explain this one, right?
J) The Get-A-Lifer
This is the hardcore friend who has nothing better to do but subscribe and follow you via SMS.
K) The Attention Seeker
This is the friend who posts status updates that are purposely vague, and therefore beg for a comment. Their status is all about getting you to respond, getting attention, getting sympathy. "Lori is scared, but hopes everything works out..."
L) The Over Suggester
Just stop. Okay? Let me figure out who I want to be friends with, okay? Honestly.
M) The Good Friend
This is the friend who mercifully doesn't fit in any of the above categories and is, hopefully, just one of many normal, average facebookers you've friended. Let's hear it for the Good Friend!
N) The Foodie
This is the friend who's always posting updates with photos of plates of food
O) The Applicator
The person that floods your minifeed with all the games s/he is playing. “OMG! I gotz a new high scores on buzzball!” Thank you for sharing for conquests; you totally made my day with a high score.
P) The Singer
This is the guy who's always updating with song lyrics.
Q) The Quizzer
A person who seems to do every single quiz out there and ALWAYS publishes the results (even though there’s a button allowing you not to publish it).
R) The Advertiser
This is the one that joined FB for the sole purpose of advertising his/her (or his/her spouse’s) business, Mary Kay products, freelance abilities, real estate opportunities, motivational speaking/financial freedom planning dates, etc.
S) The Silent Stalker
The person who is friends with everyone they even remotely know and check Facebook every day but never update anything. They only want to read how crazy people are. This is my wife.
T) The Living Out Louders
The person who communicates with their family or friends in a back forth discussion about things only pertaining to them. Where they are going to meet, what time, what to bring… yAwn!
U) The Comedian
How about the person who tries really hard to make funny and/or pithy comments (but usually makes you just roll your eyes) (confession: this might be me!)
A) The Overzealous Updater
This is the friend who can’t go half a day without sharing What’s On His Mind. Honestly people. We really don't need to know that you've just had your second shower of the day. For that matter, we didn't need to hear about the first one either.
B) The Link-bot
This is the friend who does nothing but share links all day. Links to articles he’s read that he thinks the whole world should be reading, links to movie reviews, links to new games coming on the market, links to his Twitter page where he’s gone and posted 10 more links. There needs to be a limit. Some links are good, especially when they send people to this blog. But let’s impose a 2-link-max rule per day, what do you say?
C) The Groupie
This is the friend who has joined more groups than Marcia Brady did that one year in high school when she was overcommitted and frazzled. Asian Americans in Israel who Support Diplomacy with Iran? Really?
D) I Am My Kids
This is the friend who only uses Facebook to post photos of the little ones, or updates that read: “Tommy didn’t feel well today, so he stayed home from school.” Might as well not even have your own profile, just create one for the kid(s), no?
E) Spies (who used to) Like Us
This is the Ex who only friends you so s/he can spy on you and make sure you have fewer friends that s/he does, and that your new significant other is less attractive than s/he was.
F) The Wanna-Be
This is the person who friends someone with the great hope of becoming friends with that person in real life, be it a minor celeb, or just someone the Wanna-Be really admires from a slight distance.
G) The Two-facer
This is the friend who accepts your friend request just to be polite, but then Hides your updates immediately. Unfortunately, you have no idea who the two-facers are.
H) The Networker
This is the friend whose main purpose on Facebook is to build a list he can tap when he needs to for work/career. You know these friends because they only message you with e-mails that read “So you still over at Viacom?”
I) The OverPoker
No need to explain this one, right?
J) The Get-A-Lifer
This is the hardcore friend who has nothing better to do but subscribe and follow you via SMS.
K) The Attention Seeker
This is the friend who posts status updates that are purposely vague, and therefore beg for a comment. Their status is all about getting you to respond, getting attention, getting sympathy. "Lori is scared, but hopes everything works out..."
L) The Over Suggester
Just stop. Okay? Let me figure out who I want to be friends with, okay? Honestly.
M) The Good Friend
This is the friend who mercifully doesn't fit in any of the above categories and is, hopefully, just one of many normal, average facebookers you've friended. Let's hear it for the Good Friend!
N) The Foodie
This is the friend who's always posting updates with photos of plates of food
O) The Applicator
The person that floods your minifeed with all the games s/he is playing. “OMG! I gotz a new high scores on buzzball!” Thank you for sharing for conquests; you totally made my day with a high score.
P) The Singer
This is the guy who's always updating with song lyrics.
Q) The Quizzer
A person who seems to do every single quiz out there and ALWAYS publishes the results (even though there’s a button allowing you not to publish it).
R) The Advertiser
This is the one that joined FB for the sole purpose of advertising his/her (or his/her spouse’s) business, Mary Kay products, freelance abilities, real estate opportunities, motivational speaking/financial freedom planning dates, etc.
S) The Silent Stalker
The person who is friends with everyone they even remotely know and check Facebook every day but never update anything. They only want to read how crazy people are. This is my wife.
T) The Living Out Louders
The person who communicates with their family or friends in a back forth discussion about things only pertaining to them. Where they are going to meet, what time, what to bring… yAwn!
U) The Comedian
How about the person who tries really hard to make funny and/or pithy comments (but usually makes you just roll your eyes) (confession: this might be me!)
