1. Go outside, and if you see someone, take the random person and make out with him/her, and say: "Yes! I finally got my dramatic kissing scene!"

 2. Lay on your stomach in a puddle and scream: "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"

 3. In the pasanger seat of the car, roll your window down, stick your tongue out, soaking the driver: "I wonder why dogs only do this when its sunny out!" and laugh.

 4. Make a farting noise, and say "Hear that thunder roar!"

 5. When your outside, run around (reading lyrics) and scream words to Singing in the Rain.

 6. Make someone laugh. Then look at them: "Gosh, your face is all wet. Suck it up, stop crying!"

 7. Sit outside, and read an old book, and keep yelling "DAMN YOU, SKIES! WHY IS IT SO FUCKING WET HERE!" when your pages get soaked.

 8. Gather all the family electronics, and lay them out on the grass on the curb, and let them get all wet.

 9. When the family sees say: "I told you that (baby sibling/cousin/hated younng person) was evil!

 10. Sit on the corner at the sewer, and hold out an empty can of soup with a sign on it "Poor, and Wet," and hope you don't get kidnapped.

 11. Tell everyone around you that rain actually signifies the zombie apocalypse and that the term "acid rain" actually means rain that turns you into a zombie. Then put your hand outside the door, or window, and walk like a zombie. (Basically, start a fun/play zombie apocalypse.)

 12. Collect all the neighborhood cats/felines and place them outdoors to go insane.

 13. Place an empty inflatable pool anywhere outside that you can, and watch it fill up. Then place your younger sibling/a friend's younger sibling in it and tell them to go swimming.

 14. For any cooking that requires water, place the bowl with all other necessary ingredients in it, let the water fill up, and make somebody nasty baking!

 15. Go to the local pool, and bang on the doors because you want them to open, because it's so hot outside and you need to cool off in the pool.

via fanpop.com
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1.Make a regular habit of being late- make sure you are AT LEAST 15 minutes late every day. 5 minutes won't work because of varying clocks and the fact that you may have had to drive around for 3 minutes trying to find a parking spot in the perpetually overcrowded parking lot. No, it has to be at least 15 minutes. When you get reprimanded for it, boldly tell your boss, if you were getting paid more, you may make an effort to get up earlier.

 2. Come to work hammered. Nothing says "I hate this f-ing place" like coming to work smelling like you slept in a brewery vat. This is super effective when you start becoming loud and belligerent with all your co-workers. Then slur your words as you are talking to a client on the phone. Take a nap/pass out at your desk after being at work for only 15 minutes. You will be handed your pink slip before noon, no doubt. Then you have the rest of the afternoon to celebrate.

 3.Start spreading rumors about the boss. This is the most fun for those with a creative mind. There are many ways this can be done, my personal favorite is the OFFICE MEMO. Tell everyone that you saw him in the drugstore buying penis enlargement supplements. Or that a friend of a friend saw him/her in a seedy part of town soliciting sex from a streetwalker. The best one by far is claiming you slept with the boss and it left something to be desired. This makes you look just as bad, but what do you care? You hate all this overpaid miscreants anyway.

 4. Come to work dressed in beach clothes and flip flops. Wear the most outrageous, obnoxious shirt and/or sun dress you can find. And effective way for a man to get fired is to come to work in the sundress.....with no underwear on. Wear sunglasses and a straw hat and refuse to take them off. Tell your boss, since he is such an a-hole and you never get to go anywhere on vacation, you are bringing the vacation to the office. Then follow it up with the hand in the face and loudly yell Booyah!

 5. Put laxative in the company coffee pot. Then announce it to everyone with a claim of trying to make everyone "regular".

 6. Make lots of personal calls and emails where you complain about everyone within earshot. Tell your friends that you work in a breeding ground for imbeciles. And that you believe the guy in the next cubicle only showers weekly. Ensure you calls are loud and boisterous and your emails are gritty and descriptive, laced with profanity.

 7. Call in sick, then come in the next day with a new haircolor, preferably something off the wall like blue. Tell everyone how you spent the day shopping with your friends and getting your hair done. Tell them you are now suffering from a hangover because you went to the bar last night, and didn't get in until 2am.

 8. Leave the water in the kitchen running and shove lots of paper towels in the drain. When the water starts overflowing run screaming through the office "FLOOD, FLOOD, everyone out!!!" Explain to your boss that you were trying to wash your laundry in the sink and something got stuck.

 9. Don't come in to work. For a week. Do not call, do not send an email, just don't show up. When your boss questions you on it the next time you grace everyone with your presence, tell him you were being held in jail for parole violations, stemming from an "incident" at your old job.

 10. Steal. Anything, everything you can get your hands on. The most effective way is to walk out with a big ticket item, like the copier or a computer. Pretend like nothing is wrong when questioned as you walk out the door. Tell the receptionist you are stealing it, then hawking it for drug money.

via voices.yahoo.com

A study conducted at the University of Rochester found that men prefer a lady in red. Just like that cheesy '80s song! Men looked at pictures of women in red and women in green. Sounds very Christmas-y. Men were more drawn to the gals in crimson. "These findings indicate that color not only has aesthetic value but can carry meaning and impact psychological functioning in subtle, important, and provocative ways," said researchers. [Times of India]

In a study by HerCampus, one-fifth of all college-aged guys think having had 10 to 20 sexual partners makes a girl a "slut." Oh no. Not this "number" business again. I'm sure the other four-fifths of the college boys were just excited to be getting laid. But the results of the study weren't all bad. Over 30 percent of the guys polled said a "number" doesn't not make a girl a "slut." [HerCampus.com]

The Kinsey Institute did a study of 1,009 heterosexual, middle-aged couples in long-term committed relationships and found that the men who were happiest in their relationships were the ones that cuddled the most. So there you have it. A cuddle a day keeps the divorce lawyers away. Men around the world just screamed when they read that sentence. If science recommends it … let's cuddle!!! [Time]

Researchers from New Zealand’s University of Wellington found that men LOVE looking at boobs. And they don't just LOVE looking at boobs. About half of the men in the study were found to look at boobs before they looked at faces. Also discovered: Most men will look at boobs longer than any other body part. The good news here is that breast size didn't matter one fig to these men. As long as you have boobs, they'll be looking. [Your Tango]

Sexy News Anchors
Two studies out of Indiana University found that when men watch sexually attractive female news anchors, they are less likely to remember the news. "Men's cognitive mechanisms favored visual over verbal processing," the study concluded. This may make it very difficult for your dude to stay informed on current events. Best switch him to news radio. [Miller-McCune]
Jerking Off
The 2009 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior made a startling discovery about teenage boys: They love to masturbate. From the 800 teenagers, ages 14 to 17, polled, researchers found that teen boys jerk off more than teen girls masturbate, and teen boys start jerking off earlier than teen girls do. Absolutely shocking stuff. [U.S. News & World Reports]

Thanks to a study conducted by Match.com, Rutgers University and Binghamton University, we can put the myth to bed that men don't want to get married. The sample group of 5,200 singles ages 21 to 65 found that men want to tie the knot just as much as women do. "The mechanisms for attachment for men and women are exactly the same. Just as many men want to get married as women do," said one of the scientists. Not only that, but the study showed that men had a greater inclination toward parenthood. [Time]

Showing Off
A study carried out by researchers at Rice, University of Texas at San Antonio and the University of Minnesota examined men's cars as they correlated to dating and relationship habits. You probably guessed that the men who bought Porsches were more interested in "short-term mating." That's the nice way of saying "casual sex." But no matter what type of car a a guy drives, the study found that men use their toys to show off for potential mates. "Just as peacocks have evolved to flaunt their wasteful tails before potential mates, men might similarly woo with wasteful expenditures to charm potential mates," said researchers.  [FOX]

Pumpkin Pie
Research has found that pumpkin pie is the scent that most enhances blood flow to the penis. “Throw away the perfume and go get some pumpkin pie,” said Dr. Alan Hirsch, Director of Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Center. More like slather it all over your entire body.  [WPBF.com]

No Tears
 A study found that our female tears emit signals that actually turn guys off. Male participants who sniffed “odorless tears” (do tears usually smell?) from women who cried during a sad movie had lower testosterone levels and were less sexually aroused by or attracted to the opposite sex than male participants who sniffed salt water. The explanation? Tears shed because of heightened emotion are chemically different than those that spill over when you’re, say, chopping onions.  [ABC News]

Health Insurance
According to an undeniably biased study done by eHealthInsurance.com, 90 percent of college students said that they would automatically find someone more attractive if he or she had one important quality … health insurance. A rare commodity indeed. Heed the call, co-eds. This may be only thing within your control when it comes to getting ahead in love.  [Consumerist]

The social network Badoo polled men in the UK and found that the majority of gentlemen prefer brunettes. About 33 per cent said they find women with brown hair the most attractive, while 29 percent were fans of black hair. Do your math. That's more than 60 percent of men who dig the dark-haired beauties. [Glamour]

Head Tilting
Researchers from University of Newcastle, Australia discovered that men are more attracted to women who give good head. I'm talking about head titlting, you dirty birds. The study indicated that a woman can make herself more attractive to the opposite sex by angling her face a certain way. Apparently, we look most “alluring” when we tilt our chins down and look up at the man. [ Telegraph]

via thefrisky.com
10. Breast Pumping: A lady decided that it was appropriate to use a breast pump during boarding. She fully exposed both breasts and with just a bottle (not with a baby) did the vacuum effect on her fully exposed boob. Let me remind you this was both breasts out in the air, on a full flight, during boarding, taxi, take-off and part of cruise.

9. Breast Milk Drippage: A few passengers notified me of something leaking from the overhead bins down onto their heads. The look on the men's faces was priceless when a woman stood up and said, “OMG ... My breast milk! It's not frozen anymore and it's leaking what should I do?!"

8. Blankets and Boogers: A passenger in first class rang her call light. She handed me her blanket and asked if I could give her a new one. I was puzzled since everyone had started the flight with a fresh blanket. I looked down at the blanket and it was all wet and slimy with boogers. I felt so grossed out—like I was going to hurl—as I tossed it into a plastic bag.

7. Impromptu Snacking: A first class passenger picked something off his bare feet...and ate it. I saw it myself!

6. Jump Seat No-no: A passenger sat down on the back galley flight attendant jump seat "waiting on the lavatory." A flight attendant told him he couldn't sit there. After I came out of the lav and sat down, we realized that he had urinated on the jump seat!

5. Pedicures: Lady using the "ped egg" on her feet. And then tried to dump her foot shavings in my trash.

4. A Little Laundry: A first class passenger took off his soggy socks and dried them by putting them over the air vent above his seat. Passengers all the way back in coach complained about the smell.

3. Lost Panties: I was helping clean the plane at one of our out-stations so we could turn the plane on time and found a pair of bloody panties in the seat pocket. This is why we wear gloves.

2. Adult Diapers: Someone shed their humongous Depends adult diapers on the toilet seat—yep, shed like a creature shedding its sea-shell, and they were left perfectly wide open and obviously used on top of the toilet lid, for the next passenger.

1. Going No. 2: A passenger used the tissue (out of the tissue box dispenser in the restroom) to clean up after their bowel movement. They then placed the used tissues back into the tissue box. A fellow flight attendant reached into the tissue dispenser for a tissue and ... discovered the issue firsthand.

via foxnews.com
It was unlike anything the villagers had ever seen. The young news reporter who arrived on the scene was quick to point out that the "mysterious mushroom" felt "meaty". Meaty, sure, but that ain't no mushroom.

On June 17, Chinese investigative news program Xi'an Up Close reported about a "mysterious mushroom" discovered in the rural part of Liucunbu, outside the capital of Shaanxi province, while digging for a new well.

Wondering what it was, the villagers kept their mysterious discovery in a bucket of water and occasionally poked it. That is, with their fingers.

"When we dug down to about 80m deep, we fished out this long, fleshy object," one villager told reporter Ye Yunfeng (via Shingaiist) It's got a nose and an eye, but we have no idea what it is!"

The villager added that even his 80 year-old neighbor has never seen anything like this before.

"As we can all see, this looks like a type of fungus, on both ends of which you'll find mushroom heads," said the reporter.

"On this side, you can see what looks like a pair of lips. And on that side, there is a tiny hole which extends all the way back to this side. The object looks very shiny, and it feels very fleshy and meaty too."

Unknown to the villagers, what they had actually discovered was a male masturbation aid. The "pair of lips" represents a vagina, and the "tiny hole" represents an anus.

Still, the villagers had their own theories, thinking that they'd found a type of lingzhi mushroom; the reporter seemed to agree, adding that the lingzhi mushroom can be found in the region and even was a secret to longevity.

The news report quickly went viral in China and the rest of Asia as people online knew this was no mystery and pointed out that the villagers had discovered a sex toy; this program seemed to have no idea what it filmed.

The show, however, issued a correction, trying to pawn off the mistake on the reporter who is "still very young and unwise to the ways of the world" (an unfair excuse because the reporter most certainly had a crew, an editor, a producer and others involved in the story—this was not rogue sex toy confusion). The program added, "We'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for your criticism and correction. Please forgive our oversight!"

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Contemporary designer Freyja Sewell's HUSH is a womb-shaped chair designed to offer a little "me time" for those of us easing the burden of a pricey apartment by living with roommates.

Made of 100% wool felt, HUSH, says Sewell "is a warm, cosy space, for contemplation and rest."

By creating an enclosed space HUSH provides a personal retreat, an escape into a dark, quiet, natural space, or state of mind. HUSH can also be transformed to provide more traditional open seating.

HUSH was recently selected for Grand Designs Live, the UK's leading contemporary home show, as one of Kevin McClouds 'Green Heros'. Freyja's work on HUSH is supported by the Campaign for Wool.

via gizmodo.com
The old adage goes: "Don't judge a man until you've walked two moons in his moccasins." But, according to researchers, you may not have to walk at all to judge a person by his or her shoes.

In a study conducted at the University of Kansas, people were able to accurately judge demographic and personality traits of complete strangers simply by looking at their most frequently worn shoes. It turns out 90 percent of a person's characteristics can be determined just by examining the style, cost, color and condition of their footwear.

As expected, extroverts wore flashy shoes (Ashanti's sex shoes come to mind...), wealthy people wore more expensive shoes and conscientious people kept their footgear cleaner. And if you've ever thought a girl in ankle boots was aggressive, you'd probably be right.

We were surprised to see that those who wore uncomfortable looking shoes tended to be calm people. The last time we wore 6-inch heels, we weren't in the most serene mood (but perhaps that's why they wouldn't be our most frequently worn pair). Mad respect goes to Jessica Simpson who teetered in stilettos during her third trimester of pregnancy.

The one demographic that participants in the study had a hard time judging? Those with boring shoes. Apparently, those shoe owners described themselves as "aloof and repressive," had a hard time forming relationships and weren't able to communicate many of their traits in real-life. (We wonder what this says about Kate Middleton's nude pumps.)

 Whether or not it's our intention, our shoes are doing much of the talking for us. So if you want to appear more attractive, maybe it's time you invest in a pair of Kanye's Nike Air Yeezy II sneakers. Or you can just keep the shoes you already have clean.

via stylelist.com
Plenty of guys will be hitting the weight room this summer before heading to the beach, but new research suggests that when it comes to winning over women, big muscles aren't always necessary. A new analysis by researchers at the University of Tennessee-Knoxville suggests that long ago, women started turning down strong, confident Alpha males in favor of Beta men who were more devoted. Here, a concise guide to the study: 

Why do researchers think that geeks rule?
The team of evolutionary biologists wanted to determine exactly when it was that humankind began settling into monogamous relationships. Using a computer model, they found that when early humans began congregating in large social groups to up their chances of survival, physically dominant Alpha men had their pick from multiple women. For lower-ranking Beta men (think "scrawny geeks") to obtain mates, they needed to devise a different approach to circumvent the pecking order.

What did Betas do?
The researchers posit that out of necessity, a Beta man would devote himself to a single woman at a time, providing her with necessities like food and protection. Showering her with affection "led women to value a generous and devoted partner over a promiscuous stronger man," says Nick Collins at Britain's Telegraph. Monogamy persevered because it meant less infighting between competing males and better survival rates for offspring who had two parents watching over them.

Why does this matter?
Experts have long struggled to explain how the modern family arose out of tribal networks, study author Sergey Gavrilets tells the Daily Mail. As it turns out, the critical factor in this model was female choice, which sparked a "sexual revolution" and laid the groundwork for the modern two-parent family society is predicated on today.


So, just how popular is IKEA? It’s estimated that 10% of living Europeans were conceived on an IKEA-produced bed. It’s time you learned a little more about the company, its reclusive owner Ingvar Kamprad (who may or may not be worth more than Bill Gates), and his continuing quest to install flat pack, streamlined fixtures across the seven continents.

1. It All Started With a Car
The inspiration for IKEA’s design philosophy came when taking the legs off of a chair to fit it into a car. IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad was so irritated by the experience that he developed the concept of flat pack design. The novel packing method had a twofold appeal: it allowed easier shopping for urban Europeans who depended on public transportation, and it also lowered the company’s shipping costs dramatically. But the store wasn’t an immediate success. IKEA floundered in Sweden for thirty years (THIRTY YEARS!) before finding an international audience.

2. The Company Had Some Dark Secrets
While we’ve written about IKEA cloaking itself as a charitable institution, that isn’t the blue and yellow über-store’s only dirty secret. While Kamprad today is known as a frugal billionaire who drives a ’93 Volvo, eats at middle-class restaurants, and outfits his home entirely in affordable IKEA products, his legacy is tainted by his past involvement with pro-Nazi organizations. Between 1942 and 1945, Kamprad joined, fund-raised, and recruited members for a fascist, Nazi-sympathizing group in Sweden. The news only came out in 1994, when his personal correspondence with fascist Per Engdahl was released to the public. Kamprad immediately apologized for his involvement and claimed it was the biggest regret of his young life. He also wrote to every Jewish employee on his staff to issue a personal apology.

Of course, none of this stopped the information from being a point of controversy when the store first arrived in Israel, but the world seems to have forgiven him. Today IKEA is one of the only international companies to spread to both Israel and Arab countries. In fact, the store is so popular in the Middle East that three people were trampled to death at the store’s 2004 grand opening in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.

3. The Dining Tables Were Too Small for a Turkey
The beginnings of IKEA in America were inauspicious, with European compact efficiency conflicting with America’s “bigger is better” creed. In the 1980s, for example, many customers bought vases, mistaking them for water glasses. They were also wary of a dining room table that couldn’t hold the girth of a full size Thanksgiving turkey. IKEA’s designers only changed their mindset in how they approached American design after the head of US operations made a stunt of it: He handed out t-shirts to Swedish designers that declared “size matters.” They apparently got the message.

4. The IKEA Catalogue Is Bigger Than the Bible
The IKEA catalogue was and is the company’s greatest weapon in its arsenal. A 300-page missionary text, it goes out to over 180 million people in 27 different languages. Each year, there are more copies of the IKEA catalogue printed than the Bible. A bit of a cult following has also developed around the catalogues, with earnest readers on the lookout for hidden messages in the pictures, such as running references to Mickey Mouse and weird, obscure books on the bookshelves.

5. It’s a Hipster Hangout
Despite early stumbles in America, twenty years later, the store has so ingrained itself into our society that a trend amongst urban hipsters is to host dinner parties at the stores. A meal of lingonberry jam and meatballs at the cafeteria for the host and guests, and the living room displays make perfect venues for a round of Taboo and Pictionary. A blog posting chronicling the first party in Sacramento led to a string of copycats across the country. So far, IKEA management doesn’t seem to be complaining.

via mentalfloss.com

Seizing on the entrepreneurial spirit that inspired quickie weddings in Las Vegas chapels, Dutch businessman Jim Halfens is trying to pioneer a business that lets couples undo their marriages just as easily. With a "wild, you've-got-to-be-joking plan to profit from the sorry state of so many American unions," Halfens wants to establish a "Divorce Hotel" that will facilitate splits for the 50 percent of American couples who call it quits, says Janet Morrissey at The New York Times. And Halfens — who is not married — argues that the out-of-the-box scheme, replete with plans for an accompanying reality television show, will be a hit. Here, a guide to the Divorce Hotel:

How does the Divorce Hotel work?
It's pretty simple. "On a Friday, a couple — which already have plans to split — check into a designated luxury hotel," says Julia Bricklin at Forbes. "On Monday, after meeting with lawyers, mediators, notaries, and psychologists all weekend, the pair walks away amicably, with divorce papers signed, for one flat fee."

How much does it cost?
A weekend will set couples back between $2,500 and $10,000. While $10,000 might seem like a lot for a weekend getaway in which fun isn't exactly on the agenda, it might be a deal considering the legal costs for messy divorces — anywhere from $5,000 to $20,000, or more if children are involved — that can take months or years to complete.

Are there any Divorce Hotels up and running?
Yes. Halfens says his Divorce Hotel operations in Holland have been used by 17 couples, all but one of whom successfully ended their marriage over the weekend. Halfens is looking at several potential U.S. sites for a Divorce Hotel, including New York City and Los Angeles.

Is it really called the Divorce Hotel?
No. The divorce is a luxury service offered through existing boutique hotels, largely because hotels "are reluctant to be seen as the Divorce Hotel," says Morrissey. The service offers couples separate accommodations, and hotel employees are instructed to treat them with special consideration. "You don't want the hotel crew wishing you a very nice weekend and hoping you have lots of fun here," Halfens tells The Times.

Will it work?
It "takes more than the length of a weekend jaunt to sort through the details of a complicated divorce, especially when such a divorce involves significant property or business holdings, stock options, real estate, or offshore accounts," says Doug Barry at Jezebel. Things get even more complicated when custody battles are at play. However, Halfens claims that his experiment has led to amicable divorces and heartfelt partings. "We once had a guy that said, 'I want a bottle of champagne,' and did a toast to his wife," he tells ABC News.

And there's going to be a reality TV show?
Possibly. A couple of production companies have reportedly expressed interest in the concept, and Halfens has invited Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore to launch the show. Halfens claims that they're a perfect fit because "they've indicated they want to end their six-year marriage on friendly terms," says Morrissey. "He hasn't heard back."

via theweek.com

According to an article posted on News Telegram.com, a cat named Frankie and Louie has earned an odd Guinness World Record; he has become the longest living Janus cat. Not familiar with the term? A Janus cat is a cat that, despite the odds, is born with two faces.

Named after the Roman god Janus who had two faces, Janus cats have an incredibly low prognosis for living after they are born; more often than not, they die within a few hours or days after birth.

The Janus cat Frankie and Louie (cleverly given two names because he has two faces) has overcome those odds and earned his world record; he has lived for 12 years with his condition.

Frankie and Louie's life as a Janus cat is a little odd, to say the least. He has one head, two faces, three eyes (two normal eyes and a non-functioning third eye in the middle), two noses and two mouths. And all the body parts are operated by one brain. Talk about having a lot going on!

via petside.com
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Funny cartoon of the day

Funny cartoon of the day