Having trouble accessing that coiled serpent at the base of your spine? Try using a snake! A real one! Duh. It’s called Kumara Serpent Healing, and it’s an offshoot of Kundalini Yoga. As if folks needed another reason to be scared of “kundalooniness” But self-confessed ‘mad snake lady’ and fearless teacher Kwali Kumara asks “what are you afraid of?” According to her, snakes unlock the chakras! With a mix of Kundalini Kriyas and taunting lines like, ‘If people are scared of snakes, they are scared of their own spirituality,’ Kwali draws a crowd to her classes in the UK. ‘Having the snakes involved connects people to what is going on inside,’ explains medusa.

We sit in a circle, and Kwali warns us that when we next open our eyes, she will have a snake around her neck. Sneaking a look around the group, I spy a mixture of grimaces and smiles.

We are asked to open our eyes and there the snake is. In all, there are 11 snakes in the basket — three boas, four royal pythons and four small corn snakes.

We make ‘chhh’ and ‘sssss’ sounds as the snakes are brought out, to make them feel more comfortable.

I take hold of a Brazilian Rainbow boa. At first I hold the snake away from me, but I soon realise that he is as intrigued by me as I am him.

Intrigued isn’t the word! We just hope those babies have had all their shots.